SLIDERSCAST #95 PODCAST TRANSCRIPT (Earth 207)
Description: It's the end of the world as we know it and the Sliders don't feel fine! In fact, they're so not fine with it that they're going to explore three worlds facing doomsday situations to get to the bottom of why the world is ending and find someone they need to yell at.
JIM: "Hi, everybody! I'm Jim Ford."
DAN: "And I'm Dan Kurtzke!"
JIM: "And this is the Sliderscast where we'll be talking about 'Revelation' -- didn't we already do this episode like a year and a half ago?"
DAN: "Oh, yeah. Did our new showrunner, Dan Harmon, forget someone already used this title at the end of Season 4? Wait, Season 4's finale is called 'RevelationS,' but this time the S gets dropped."
JIM: "Well, it's probably still calling back to the final book in the Bible the same way Season 4 started with 'Genesis' and ended with 'Revelation.'"
DAN: "I can just see Dan Harmon, though, going through the dictionary, looking at words starting with R-E because his gimmick is that every title in this SLIDERS REBORN starts with those letters and just not able to choose a synonym for the word that starts with RE and saying fuck it, I'll just drop the S."
JIM: "With any other showrunner, you'd think that maybe they just forgot about Season 4 the way you wish you could."
DAN: "Yeah, except this one episode alone brings back Elston Diggs, Maggie Beckett, Conrad Bennish Jr., Razor Gillette -- "
JIM: "Razor was somebody they brought back?"
DAN: "He was that bodyguard dude who worked for evil Wade back in Season 2."
JIM: "What!? Really? I didn't even notice."
DAN: "And there's no way a guy who writes a sequel to 'Love Gods' about Quinn Mallory's spawn doesn't remember a previously used title."
JIM: "We'll talk about that, we'll talk about that."
JIM: "So the plot is basically -- "
DAN: "Basically! Yeah right. This movie is really dense."
JIM: "The sliders visit three Earths tracking the neutrino signal that's messing up reality for Laurel on Earth Prime 'cause the signal also destroyed Remmy's house and car and could hit the whole planet and any world in reality. They want to find out where it's coming from and stop it, and tracking the signal has them going across random Earths until they get to the end of the trail. On all three Earths, there are these mysterious clocks counting down to zero from about eight hours -- and the clocks are in perfect sync across all three Earths and people think they're counting down to the end of the world."
DAN: "Isn't this the plot to the DOCTOR WHO episode except SLIDERS has clocks instead of those blue boxes?"
JIM: "The first world is one where the global water supply's been poisoned and even the water in people's bodies can contaminate if it has the toxin and it's a post apocalyptic action movie in a ruined city, basically."
DAN: "Isn't this basically the desert episode of Season 3 and the epidemic episode?"
JIM: "The second Earth's one where the entire population is totally sure doomsday will come when the clocks hit zero and they're all prepping for it."
DAN: "Didn't we already do this in 'Last Days'?"
JIM: "And the third Earth is one where global dimming's hit -- that's where the ozone layer is so polluted that sunlight can't reach the Earth."
DAN: "That seems like kind of a ripoff of all the SLIDERS episodes taking place at night."
JIM: "So we start on the poisoned water Earth with all the sliders in a grocery store that's empty and the sliders are fumbling around in total darkness and it's a minute of just their voices."
DAN: "Yeah, I was listening and I was wondering if Yahoo Screen was trying to save money by doing SLIDERS the audioplay."
JIM: "They get the windows open, they see someone getting attacked by a bunch of street thugs. Remmy sees this andhe's all Season 1 Remmy, doesn't want to get involved -- "
DAN: "Then he sees it's a double of Maggie and he's like the first to run out there and start kicking ass although he gets outnumbered -- "
JIM: "But these bad guys -- they want the water in Maggie's truck -- and Quinn sees that and he throws the contains of bottled water down a hill, so the bad guys go for that and Quinn jumps into the truck and drives away."
DAN: "He also gets all the sliders in the truck before he drives away."
JIM: "What did you think of Rembrandt?"
DAN: "Well, the thing the writer seems to want to make him the supposedly funny, goofy guy he was in Season 1, but throw in some stuff here and there to say he's also the cool as ice guy who's seen it all and scared of nothing by Season 5 is still in there. It's inconsistent."
JIM: "I thought maybe the idea here was that Rembrandt has reverted to non-sliding civilian mode, but when he sees someone in trouble, the Season 5 Rembrandt comes back out."
DAN: "Stop excusing Dan Harmon for this crap."
Genius as a Plot Device
JIM: "So, Quinn says he knows they can find a World War II bunker that's undiscovered because there's a building missing from this Earth's San Francisco skyline, the Millennial Tower -- "
DAN: "I just Googled that and it's missing from our San Francisco too."
JIM: "Which means the construction workers building that building never found the bomb shelter it was linked it. That's -- I mean, it's really smart. But it's also -- it's sort of a way to move the plot along where Quinn can instantly know something about this world he's never seen before, know a safe place to go."
DAN: "It's a plot contrivance. It's like -- hmmm, I need the character to know something he has no way of knowing; I'll say he's a genius to excuse it."
JIM: "Well, it is meant to show the audience that Quinn is a genius."
DAN: "You know what it felt like? It felt like Dan Harmon listens to our podcast, knows we pick best character of the week and just wanted to rig this episode so that Quinn would win this week, you know? Like, he's just stacking the deck."
JIM: "I love how you think TV gets made based on what we say in these podcasts."
JIM: "'Reunion' was pretty lightweight and basically written like a sitcom, but 'Revelation' gets dark in this first segment. Like, Quinn says the sliders need to abandon Maggie to probably dehydrate and die in this San Francisco where people in California are basically quarantined to contain the teslanium contamination."
DAN: "The whole teslanium backstory about how it was a special kind of environmentally friendly fuel that turned out to be toxic to humans and impossible to filter out of water -- this was pretty good. I wouldn't have imagined a sitcom writer who does movie parodies and shit to come up with something like this."
JIM: "Yeah, he didn't. He said in an interview that he hired the Season 4 story editor, Marc Scott Zicree, to come up with all the alt-histories for him."
DAN: "So let me get this straight -- this Dan Harmon guy wants to do SLIDERS. He lives and breathes SLIDERS. But he needs to pay somebody else to come up with parallel Earths for a show about the multiverse?"
JIM: "That would be the case."
DAN: "Then why the fuck did he want to bring back SLIDERS? That's what I want revealed by 'Revelation'!"
JIM: "Still, no matter who came up with the idea, it's good and it creates a really tough situation where the sliders are mad at Quinn for saying they can't help Maggie and need to focus on investigating these weird clocks and following the neutrino signal. This is really serious and deadly."
DAN: "Yeah, it was weird -- in Season 1 and 2, Quinn is constantly getting involved in other people's business; now he's become even more of a callous prick than he was in Season 4."
JIM: "Well now -- the sliders tear Quinn a new one and Quinn comes up with a plan to turn Maggie's truck into a zero-point energy vehicle that won't need any fuel that she can use to get away."
DAN: "That made no sense whatsoever."
Genius as a Plot Device
DAN: "Like, how the hell can clock batteries fuel a van? A van that runs on gas? Like, they throw some technobabble about how it's impossible but the magic batteries make it possible."
JIM: "I think the explanation for how clock batteries can fuel a van is that Quinn Mallory is a genius."
DAN: "Again! The story goes in a bullshit direction and the script says no, it makes sense because Quinn is smarter than you. I just want to say right here that when you cheat this way with a character, you are disqualified from being best character of the week."
JIM: "Yeah, Quinn Mallory hasn't won character of the week in the entire run of the show and I don't see that changing now. But -- I mean, I did kind of like it. And they justified it by saying his idea is based on how the timer had a self-regenerating power chip which in itself is a reference to a deleted scene from the Pilot."
DAN: "I get it, Dan Harmon, you really like SLIDERS. But you really liking SLIDERS does not mean you know how to write for SLIDERS."
JIM: "Have you ever felt anyone knew how to write for SLIDERS?"
Quinn and His Creepiness
JIM: "Anyway, Quinn and Laurel go out to this watchmaker's shop near the bunker to get some tools they need and some stuff happens between them."
DAN: "Yeah. Some stuff. Stuff."
JIM: "First, Quinn reveals that he was only partially interested in helping Maggie; he came out to the watchmaker's shop to take apart the weird clocks and learn more about them and Laurel acts like he's a monster for not caring about Maggie."
DAN: "That was weird. Like, he did help Maggie. It just wasn't his top priority. But I guess Laurel also finds it weird that he's lying to his friends and he has some secret agenda. Throughout this whole episode, Quinn is all shifty and clearly upset about something and for some reason, only Laurel calls him on it. Like, nobody else thinks that Quinn is hiding something. It's like the writers just really like this new girl and want her deal to be she sees through Quinn despite only knowing him for less than a day."
JIM: "And then there's that weird scene where Laurel slips and Quinn catches her and holds her in his arms and stares into her eyes and it's just -- you wonder -- what?"
DAN: "Does Quinn want to fuck Laurel is what I was wondering; I mean, the actress that plays Laurel -- she's 19 but looks 12 and Jerry O'Connell is very obviously in his forties even if he's in shape."
JIM: "Honestly, Jerry doesn't play it that way. He plays it like he's looking at Laurel through a microscope, he's not being flirty at all. It was more like a doctor examining a patient and seeing something amazing -- but scientifically amazing as opposed to romantically amazing."
DAN: "And right there and then, Laurel says she's gay like the movie wants to let us know quicklike that this isn't a romance between them."
JIM: "But even raising it makes it this hilariously distracting red herring from Laurel's true identity."
Escape on Two Fronts
JIM: "And then the bad guys storm both the watchmaker's shop AND the bunker. So the two groups are trying to escape. Laurel has this insane ninja action sequence where she beats up five bad guys who want to harvest her organs, because this world has a thriving market on uncontaminated organs."
DAN: "It scared the shit out of me. This was good. I mean, Laurel's so tiny and then suddenly she's literally crushing one guy's head with a table. And bringing a bookshelf down on another. And smashing this guy's face in with a plank."
JIM: "I think this is the first extended fight scene in SLIDERS that was actually in any way well choreographed. The gunfights and fistfights in Season 3 are adequate but not really all that gripping; Season 4's fight scenes are like jogging videos in slow motion."
DAN: "But here -- Laurel's fight scene is so intense. And the actress totally sells that she's a fighter and then it's like -- she has no idea how she did that and Quinn steps into the room and he's amazed to find her standing over three big dudes lying dead or knocked out."
JIM: "I don't think the movie is saying Laurel killed someone; it treats it like Batman taking down muggers. There's no trauma over her first kill or anything and Quinn never talks about it and you feel like he would."
DAN: "Yeah. Jerry and this actress -- Taissa Farmiga? They have this really weird relationship where Quinn has these little moments of approval where Laurel says that something moves the plot along and he smiles at her and she treats him like -- like he's a fictional character she read about and now gets to meet for real and she critiques him. I liked that because Quinn is SO terrible and she says what I'm thinking about him."
JIM: "I actually found that kind of a pain. It's so common -- the wise child who's wise because she's an adolescent being written by an adult. Well, Laurel's actually pretty immature -- but she just understands Quinn. She can read him like a book. I kept thinking, there is no reason why Quinn and Laurel are so in sync so suddenly, it hasn't even been 24 hours."
DAN: "Except it turns out THERE IS A REASON! DUNH DUNH DUNHHHH!!!!"
The Death of Maggie Beckett
JIM: "So, the bunker gets flooded, the sliders and Maggie try to escape, but Maggie drowns and Rembrandt is heartbroken."
DAN: "It was almost like watching shipper fanfic tragedy where Remmy loses his true love Maggie forever."
JIM: "To me, it was more like -- Rembrandt getting so upset over Maggie dying when he barely even knew this Maggie is actually to show how screwed up he is after becoming the last surviving Slider. Because we don't really know what happened to Maggie and Mallory and Diana, but the Professor said in "Reunion" that there are no more sliders except them. And Quinn says Maggie is gone."
End of the World Party
JIM: "So, the Sliders move onto the next world in the trail and it's a world where the weird doomsday clocks have also appeared and their countdown speeding up during various world disasters has made the global population think they're counting down to the end of the world."
DAN: "Okay, this world -- it's definitely not as well thought out as the first one and in fact, it's kind of lazy. It's basically saying that this world's history as the same as ours -- had the same terrorist attacks and and food contaminations and heatwaves and natural disasters -- but this world's culture panicked over them a lot more where a few hot dogs with listeria led to a nationwide food shortage, where deaths get massively overreported and the people are basically counting down with the clocks to the end in a few hours' time."
JIM: "Well -- I'm actually not sure. This end of the world party is unbelievably sedate; people in this shopping mall are just sharing free food, painting, writing -- basically doing all the low-key stuff they maybe didn't have time to do before. Building model battleships, mastering magic tricks -- "
DAN: "If my world was ending, I would be downing shots and you'd be stuffing your face with brownies and it'd be more like the 'Last Days' situation where people are going nuts."
JIM: "But the thing is, there's a couple lines of dialogue about how the sliders have landed in an arts and culture zone and there's plenty of orgies and keggers -- they're just happening somewhere else. So, what we're seeing doesn't necessarily represent the whole world -- just this little piece of it."
DAN: "That strikes me as an unbelievable copout. Hey, I can't write a whole world! So I'm just going to write one shopping mall and let you fill in the blanks of the outside world yourself! I don't think this Dan Harmon knows how to write SLIDERS."
The Motionless Picture
JIM: "In your view, who does know how to write for SLIDERS?"
DAN: "No one. But what's really annoying is, the Sliders find out -- oh, the clocks from the previous Earth are on this one too! That's weird! And while Rembrandt runs off on some side adventure, the Sliders decide to confront the mystery head on -- by sitting around and talking about things! Like, seriously -- this is the middle of the story and it's just the actors wandering around in a food court talking about the plot. This is SLIDERS as a major motion picture."
JIM: "Rembrandt gets some action going."
DAN: "Yeah, it's like Rembrandt saw where the story was going and said, fuck this, nothing important's going to happen in this shopping mall, and I just saw a double of Maggie Beckett, so I'm going to go with her and hope to God it's less boring than hanging out with Quinn and Wade and the Professor and the new girl."
DAN: "Okay, so Rembrandt runs into another Maggie Beckett, this one's a spy who's investigating the doomsday clocks and she's tracked whoever scattered them across this world to this Millennial Tower building on the 75th floor. And when Rembrandt helps her fight off some goons, she sizes him up with a look and can instantly tell that Rembrandt's a former espionage agent oblique slash soldier oblique slash undercover operative -- "
JIM: "It's a nice way for Rembrandt and this Maggie to instantly team up and work together on breaking into this heavily guarded building with its own private army stationed throughout every floor and Maggie wants them to fight and shoot their way to see the doomsday clock mastermind, but Rembrandt convinces her that they can instead disguise themselves as air conditioning repairman. They get caught but use this -- this sonic taser trap that I can't even explain -- to take out all the guards. They get to the 75th floor and meet the doomsday clock boss and it's Conrad Bennish Jr."
DAN: "Except Bennish isn't the man in charge; someone named Jameson Hall set him up to keep the clocks prominent in society with money and media plans and Bennish has no idea who this Hall guy even is and just gave him this universal credit card with unlimited funds that also unlocks any electronic lock."
JIM: "Anyway, Rembrandt and Maggie have to flee the building because Bennish triggers a ton of killer drones to come kill them all and Remmy and Maggie use a window washer platform to escape because, I dunno, the writer had a flashback to 'Lipschitz Live.' Maggie and Rembrandt accept that they've failed and Remmy goes back to the mall to rejoin his friends and they slide out."
JIM: "So, what do we make of this whole segment?"
DAN: "It's like -- it's almost like Dan Harmon wrote all these action sequences of Remmy and Maggie fighting up this building to get to Conrad Bennish Jr. and then he didn't have the money to do all the gunplay and explosions -- like, Bennish has a drone force and we never even get to see it! Everytime we're supposed to get a cool action sequence, we don't get one."
JIM: "I think that's actually the point. It's this gimmick that Dan Harmon likes to do called narrative substitution, where he sets you up to expect one kind of story -- in this case, an action flick -- but then it turns out to be an episode of GET SMART or something where our spies use trickery and ideas. I think the deal here is that Maggie was living in a blood and guts action shootout and Rembrandt's presence shifts her into a different genre."
DAN: "It doesn't scan that way to me at all, but at least it gets Rembrandt back to being his Season 5 self instead of the Season 1 version that REBORN turned him back into. But given that Remmy's plot was supposed to add some thrills to an otherwise super-boring segment where the Sliders wander around a shopping mall talking."
JIM: "It's kind of weird that Remmy gets going on finding the truth about the doomsday clocks but he doesn't come back with any new information whatsoever."
JIM: "So, back at the mall, the group splits into Quinn and Arturo taking apart the clocks and Wade and Laurel looking at art exhibits and performances in the mall. Arturo figures out -- the clocks are all a single clock, but they've somehow been mapped to multiple locations in reality; and the clocks are also receiving the reality warping neutrino signal and relaying it. Meanwhile, Wade and Laurel see all these people writing all the novels and painting all the paintings and learning all the magic tricks they never had time to learn but now want to master before the world ends."
DAN: "Jesus Christ, this is the end of the world and it's boring! And these people -- they act like the end of the world is just some sort of weird thought experiment rather than something that'll actually happen, and they're sure that when the doomsday clocks hit zero, they all die somehow -- they don't even know how or why."
JIM: "Well, I think the conversation between Quinn and Arturo touches on that, where Quinn says that his world -- our world, really, is facing the end of the world too with heavy pollution, ozone layer damage, financial crisis, epidemics. And there's a neat moment where Quinn says he's been fighting to keep our world from blowing itself up and he feels like he's losing. It's cool. Quinn's dealing with the same stuff we deal with in real life."
DAN: "Again -- Dan Harmon got the original Sliders, the OG team, back together! He got Sabrina Lloyd out of retirement! He got Jerry O'Connell to wear flannel again! And this is what he does with them -- he has them wandering around having boring conversations! That's the coolest thing he could think of for Quinn and Wade and Rembrandt and Arturo! They sit around talking!"
JIM: "To be honest, I think that's the point here. SLIDERS REBORN's focus is basically on the characters and their relationships and the entire story is told with the emphasis on these characters. And I think it's a fair choice; these characters are what make the show special -- "
DAN: "No they're not! SLIDERS' characters suck! Wade's a whiny crybaby, Rembrandt's a screeching coward, Quinn is the lead character and he's never won character of the week. Of the four of them, the Professor's the only one worth a damn and he's annoying too! So if SLIDERS REBORN exists just to have these four morons hang out and shoot the shit, SLIDERS REBORN should be re-aborted."
JIM: "So, what you're saying is that it doesn't work for you that Dan Harmon wrote a SLIDERS story focusing on the Sliders."
DAN: "Damn straight."
DAN: "So, the third Earth is one that's so badly polluted that sunlight no longer penetrates the outer atmosphere of the planet Earth, and because this is SLIDERS REBORN, naturally, all this is conveyed through the Sliders sitting around a coffee shop."
JIM: "That's literally true. The timer says the neutrino signal originates from this Earth, so they just need to wait for the timer to provide an exact location. They wait it out in a coffee shop and Quinn looks around and can instantly tell from the lack of milk, cream, sugar and non-artificial coffee that this world's suffering from global dimming because crops like sugar and grazing animals like dairy are no longer available."
DAN: "It's completely ridiculous! Nobody can sort out an alternate history just like that; in the old show, the sliders had to meet exposition extras, read almanacs, watch the news, hit up libraries -- "
JIM: "Okay, hold on, hold on. It's been established that Quinn's been sliding for 20 years straight, so maybe after two decades, maybe he's gotten good at being a Slider. Quinn's a genius and -- "
DAN: "Quinn's genius is just an excuse for the laziness in the writing. This is a writer saying he doesn't want to spend more than one scene explaining this parallel Earth's history, so he'll just have Quinn magically know everything and I don't buy it, I don't buy it because Quinn's too much of a jackass to ever be this cool."
JIM: "Alright. Moving on. The gang find out that the signal's originating from the 75th floor of the Millennial Tower on this Earth, and they go there and they're confronted with a Quinn-double and it's the Quinn-double from the Pilot."
DAN: "So, once again, we have a huge moment -- Quinn confronting the very Quinn who's responsible for the doomsday clocks, who gave Quinn the secret of sliding and started this whole crazy journey -- and it's just 10 minutes of Jerry O'Connell monologing at Jerry O'Connell. Seriously -- there is NOTHING to this movie besides people standing around talking!"
JIM: "Well, sure. But it's livened up with some holographic images to serve as visual aids."
DAN: "Oh, big deal. It's a glorified PowerPoint. Anyway, the deal is this: the multiverse is completely fucked. It's dying. The Season 4 - 5 Human-Kromagg War that took up two years of the show, that was unfinished, that hasn't been spoken of once in REBORN -- it's left reality damaged and dying and the multiverse doesn't split properly anymore and all Earths have identical histories up to the day of the first slide. It's so random."
JIM: "Uh, they mentioned the Kromagg invasion in 'Reunion' and said it was erased by some kind of 'cosmic reset.'"
DAN: "Yeah, so first, the show is saying the Kromagg arc was, in the grand scheme of things, no big deal, but then it pins this new SLIDERS era as being the result of the Kromagg arc."
JIM: "Yeah, I think that's the point? It sets you up to think that the past can just be forgotten, and then not only does the past come back to haunt the Sliders, it's been around them all along."
DAN: "It's just a really weird way to write a story, Jim! Setting you up for action sequences only to not give them. Doomsday is coming, you expect panic and stuff happening -- but it's just people sitting around talking about it. You expect we're ignoring Seasons 3 - 5 aside from joking about them; but then it turns out we're in a sequel to all those plots. The whole story is just Jerry O'Connell and the old gang onscreen -- "
JIM: "So, you'd like a story that's more predictable -- the actors should never be onscreen... ?"
DAN: "Anyway, Smarter Quinn has this plot to use the doomsday clocks to destroy reality, but Quinn plot devices his way into stopping it and all the characters tell him how smart he must be when it's just the writer giving him and only him an unlimited supply of plot devices."
JIM: "The solution Quinn has to stop Smarter Quinn from destroying the multiverse by merging all the separated doomsday clocks into a single item, ripping them out of reality, breaking cause and effect, and creating an interdimensional black hole that can be crunched down and restarted -- "
DAN: "Like, that's just 'As Time Goes By''s hole in reality from having changed the future and the Combine experiment from Season 5. So derivative!"
JIM: "I think it actually makes the plan more plausible because it's based in concepts the show's introduced before -- "
DAN: "Yeah, that's the lame part! Why not make a new concept?"
JIM: "Uh, okay. The Sliders stop Smarter Quinn from using the clocks through -- um, it involves them splitting into three groups, all three building three sliding machines and hijacking Smarter Quinn's neutrino stream to move the clocks somewhere out of Smarter Quinn's reach without damaging reality, so reality is saved. But still, you know, broken."
DAN: "I hated that, that was so stupid."
JIM: "I can see you hating the idea that Quinn had all the equipment ready before they even slid because he guessed they'd need it based on what the threat could be -- "
DAN: "No, that's fine. I'm even fine with Wade and Rembrandt being able to assemble a sliding machine based on the Professor phoning in instructions. I hate that they saved the multiverse."
DAN: "I liked what Smarter Quinn said about how the multiverse is damaged and all the realities within the multiverse are broken and totally beyond saving and it'd be best to put it out of its misery and restart with a new multiverse. I think he was totally right and the show should have had him succeed."
JIM: "I don't think it was ever really an option that the Sliders wouldn't save the day along with all of reality?"
DAN: "I don't want the Sliders saving reality. They shouldn't be doing that."
JIM: "Okay, let me get this straight. In the podcast up to this point, you've complained about Quinn being a genius whose smarts move the plot forward. You find the story too unpredictable and you don't like any story elements that remind you even a little of past SLIDERS episodes."
DAN: "Yeah, I remember saying that, it was like half an hour ago."
JIM: "You also have a problem with the Sliders saving all of reality because -- "
DAN: "Because they shouldn't! Their reality sucks! It turned the Kromaggs from badasses into shitty Klingon ripoffs! It has two seasons stuck in that stupid hotel set! The reality of this TV show should totally be obliterated and struck from existence and anyone who tries to save it is stupid!"
JIM: "And also, you think it's a problem whenever Quinn, Wade, Rembrandt and the Professor are onscreen because you prefer not to see them -- "
DAN: "Yeah, that's right."
JIM: "So, your problem with SLIDERS REBORN is that you don't like watching SLIDERS and you will hate this show just because it exists."
JIM: " ..................................... "
DAN: "We were done, Jim! We were finished with SLIDERSCAST! We moved on! And then this STUPID mini-series got written and filmed! We were just starting Season 2 of STARGATE for STARGATECAST -- and then we had to stop it to do SLIDERS REBORN! God damn it! I was finally free! And then it comes back to life! And Walter's only in 'Reunion' and only for half a minute -- that was the only thing I had going for me with SLIDERS! I can't do this anymore, Jim! I can't do anymore of these podcasts, I can't watch anymore of this show when I don't even have Walter-appearances to keep me invested!"
JIM: "Hey, I just saw the synopsis for Episode 6 of this show. It has a list of returning guest-stars -- and actor Gary Jones as Michael Hurley is on the list; we'll get to see Walter again! He's coming back for the last one!"
JIM: "Yes! Looks like Hurley's got a big role, too."
DAN: " .............................. god-damn SLIDERS! Let's pick the character of the week."
Character of the Week
JIM: "So, even though all the characters got pretty equal screentime in this movie --
DAN: "Yeah, the movie was just wall to wall Quinn, Wade, Rembrandt and Arturo talking and talking."
JIM: "It does seem like Quinn had the most to actually do -- he finds the bunker, he takes apart the doomsday clocks, although the Professor realizes they're all the same clock. Quinn also comes up with the plan that saves all of reality which counts as an achievement even if you don't like it."
DAN: "Well, Jim, on the surface, it sure looks like Quinn wins character of the week, which I don't think he ever did in Season 1 to Season 5. Except it's because of Quinn that reality's damaged -- he fucked up rebuilding the multiverse and put it back together a mess -- which means he's basically the villain of the story."
JIM: "Yeah, there is that."
DAN: "So, Quinn Mallory continues to not be character of the week. And Wade, Rembrandt and Arturo -- they were basically around to be funny, they don't do anything."
JIM: "So, it looks like we're left with Laurel Hills, the daughter Quinn had with Jane Hills in 'Love Gods,' who is actually the one to save the multiverse at the end using all the smarts that Quinn gave her and some of the stuff he taught her."
DAN: "Yeah, there's this huge moment where Quinn says that Laurel has his eyes -- which is why he was staring at her face so weird in the watchmaker's shop!"
JIM: "So, given that Laurel saved all of reality and is the reason they're all sliding again, she should be the character of the week."
DAN: "I love Laurel. My favorite thing about her is that she wasn't in the original SLIDERS."