Slider_Quinn21 wrote:I'm seriously considering using my vote to express how much of a joke this election is....and voting for a dead gorilla. Or maybe I'll vote for Quinn Mallory.
The fact that we can't even get good third party candidates makes me think we need to tear the whole presidential process down and start over. No one good wants the job. Just moron after moron after moron.
INT. APARTMENT - AFTERNOON
Ib goes to his door and open it to find himself staring at
the face of Jerry O'Connell. Instantly enraged, Ib makes a
fist and prepares to swing --
IB
You treacherous, ungrateful,
backstabbing piece of --
QUINN
Whoa, whoa, whoa! It's me!
IB
Oh. Quinn.
(instantly relaxing)
So sorry. Thought you were the other
guy.
QUINN
This has been happening all day. On
the flight to get here, women kept
throwing drinks in my face. At the
airport, this one lady punched me in
the stomach. She looked like Sabrina
the Teenaged Witch.
IB
Melissa Joan Hart! So awesome! D'you
think she's in town for a show and
that is not what's important right
now! Come in, come in -- what can I
do for you?
QUINN
Well, I saw on the Sliders.tv message
board that your friend Slider_Quinn21
is so depressed about the election
that he's thinking of writing "Quinn
Mallory" on his ballot. Please ask
him not to do that.
IB
He's got no good options, Q-Ball!
We're lucky he's not voting for
Donald Trump; we can't ask him to
vote for Hillary Clinton if he
doesn't support her --
QUINN
I understand the burden in a
democratic process where there's no
good choices in front of you. I have
two responses for him.
IB
Two? Why two?
QUINN
The first: due to the Electoral
Colleges and rampant gerrymandering,
he could fairly consider the act of
voting meaningless since across 535
congregational districts, only 18 are
swing jurisdictions.
IB
Ohhhh, Americans.
QUINN
Slider_Quinn21 could reasonably stay
home and keep out of it. However,
following this line of thinking, the
Professor would say that any
abstinence from the electoral
procedure is an abdication of one's
entitlement to lamentation with
regards to political undertaking.
IB
Huh?
QUINN
If he doesn't vote, he can't
complain.
IB
You realize, you just basically said
nothing whatsoever.
QUINN
So if we discard the option of not
participating, your friend's best
route for participating without
supporting candidates he doesn't
agree with is to vote for whichever
of the six is least likely to win.
IB
The dude with the tiger zoo? The dude
with the tiger zoo!
QUINN
Yes. The dude with the tiger zoo. Go
with Joe Exotic. Then your friend has
done his due diligence and I'll
respect him.
This has been a public service announcement for
Slider_Quinn21 paid for by the What Would Quinn Mallory Do
Campaign.