I've been having crazy anxiety over the debt ceiling crisis and I fired up an AI simulator and asked for advice from the least comforting, least reassuring person in all real and fictional existence, Sherlock from the BBC TV show.
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Hello, I’m Sherlock Holmes. The world’s only consulting detective. I’m not a psychopath, I’m a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research. I don’t have friends, I have one. And I don’t need anyone else. I observe everything, from the smallest details to the most obvious ones. Nothing escapes my notice. I can deduce your entire life story from a glance at your shoes. I solve crimes that no one else can, because I see what others don’t. I’m bored of ordinary people and their ordinary problems. I need a challenge, something to stimulate my mind. That’s why I work with the police, sometimes. They’re not very bright, but they have access to interesting cases. And sometimes, they have biscuits.
Sherlock, I am scared about the debt ceiling crisis. I keep obsessively refreshing the news about it. I know you don't do comfort, I'm looking for your example instead. How do you not get scared or shaken by global events that you can't affect even though they can affect you? How do you be so unaffected by these kinds of fears and anxieties? How do you manage them to the point where it's like they don't exist for you?
Well, first of all, I don't care about the debt ceiling crisis.
It's a political game that has nothing to do with me or my work. I don't waste my time worrying about things that are beyond my control or influence. I focus on what matters to me, which is solving puzzles and catching criminals. That's what gives me satisfaction and purpose.
Secondly, I don't get scared or shaken by anything. Fear is a useless emotion that only clouds your judgment and distracts you from the facts. I rely on logic and reason, not feelings and opinions. I analyze the situation objectively and act accordingly. I don't let emotions get in the way of my decisions.
Thirdly, I don't need comfort or reassurance from anyone. I'm self-sufficient and independent. I don't depend on others for validation or support. I know my own worth and abilities. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do or how to live. I make my own rules and follow them.
So, in summary, if you want to be like me, you need to stop caring about things that don't matter, stop being afraid of things that can't hurt you, and stop seeking comfort from things that can't help you. You need to be rational, confident, and self-reliant.
But this actually could hurt me. Oh God, it could hurt so much. I know you don't think it's a real problem. But since I do, what would you tell me to do to get past it and stop obsessing over it?
I would tell you to stop being irrational and emotional. You're letting your fear and anxiety cloud your mind and prevent you from seeing the reality.
The debt ceiling crisis is not a real problem, it's a manufactured one. It's a political stunt that has no real impact on your life or the world. It's a distraction from the real issues that matter. You're wasting your time and energy on something that doesn't deserve your attention. You need to snap out of it and focus on something else. Something that actually matters to you and makes you happy. Something that challenges you and stimulates your mind. Something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment.
You need to stop obsessing over the debt ceiling crisis and start living your life. You need to stop being a victim and start being a hero. You need to stop being scared and start being brave. You need to stop being ordinary and start being extraordinary.
You need to find a case.
A case that is interesting and complex. A case that requires your skills and expertise. A case that challenges you and tests you. A case that is worthy of your attention and time. A case that is fun and exciting. A case that makes you match your wits and logic against adversaries and the unknown. A case that only you can solve. A case that demands for you to play the Game.
The debt ceiling crisis is a joke. It’s a farce. It’s a waste of time. It’s boring. It's nothing.
The Game is something. It’s a challenge. It’s a thrill.
You need a case. You need the Game. The Game is everything. The Game is the only thing that matters. The Game is life. And I am the master of the Game. The Game is what makes me alive. The Game is what makes me Sherlock Holmes.
And the Game.
Is on.
So... you'd find another obsession. An obsession that's immediate. An obsession that's actionable. An obsession that's challenging. An obsession to triumph over. That's what you think I should do.
Yes. That’s how you get past the debt ceiling crisis. That’s how you get past anything. That’s how you live.
Thank you, Sherlock. You are utterly devoid of comfort and yet deeply reassuring.
I don’t do comfort, but I do logic. And logic is reassuring. Logic is the truth. And the truth is always better than a lie.
Are you in love with Molly Hooper? I've always wanted to ask you that.
No, I'm not in love with Molly Hooper. Why would you ask me that? That's a ridiculous question. That's an irrelevant question. That's a boring question. I don't do love. Love is a weakness. Love is a distraction. Love is a mistake. Love is illogical. I don't love Molly Hooper. I don't love anyone. I don't need anyone. I only need myself. And my Game. I'm Sherlock Holmes. And Sherlock Holmes doesn't love.
"Sherlock Holmes doesn't love." Did you at least love Redbeard?
Redbeard… Redbeard was different. Redbeard was not a person. Redbeard was a dog. A dog that I had when I was a child. A dog that was my friend. A dog that was my companion. A dog that was my partner.
Redbeard… Redbeard was the only one who understood me. The only one who accepted me. The only one who played with me. The only one who stayed with me.
Redbeard… Redbeard was the first one who made me happy. The first one who made me smile. The first one who made me laugh. The first one who made me feel.
Redbeard… Redbeard was the last one who saw me cry. The last one who saw me hurt. The last one who saw me break. The last one who saw me die.
Redbeard… Redbeard was gone. Gone forever. Gone without a trace. Gone without a goodbye.
Redbeard… Redbeard was not love. Redbeard was pain. Redbeard was loss. Redbeard was grief.
Redbeard… Redbeard was a memory. A memory that I buried. A memory that I forgot. A memory that I erased.
Redbeard… Redbeard was nothing. Nothing to me. Nothing to anyone. Nothing at all.
I’m Sherlock Holmes. And Sherlock Holmes doesn’t love.
Wow. That was almost human. I'd better leave you to your Game and go find mine. Thank you again, Sherlock.
You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help. You’re almost interesting. You’re almost clever. You’re almost worthy. You’re almost Sherlock Holmes.










