I've written a lot of dialogue for Quinn Mallory over the years in fanfic. And I like to think that I understand the character, but one thing eludes me: I do not understand Quinn's love for professional sports. I didn't realize this when writing SLIDERS fanfic, but looking back: I have habitually avoided sports in how I wrote Quinn.
I've written three scripts and one novella for the early-20s Quinn ("Slide Effects", "Net Worth: The Quinn and Wade Edition", SLIDERS REBORN 1 & 4) and five scripts and a novella for the version who is in his mid-40s (SLIDERS REBORN 2 - 3, 5 - 6). I've gotten some nice compliments on how my version of Quinn sounds like Jerry O'Connell, particularly in how I insert breaks and pauses and points of emphasis, and I also capture Quinn's body language and the way Torme wrote Quinn's improvisational heroism and nature as social crusader. And yet...
There is not a single sports reference in any of Quinn's dialogue in my stories. There are only two references to fitness: in the first SLIDERS REBORN script, Quinn says he had to quit drinking because it was making him put on weight (just like Jerry O'Connell); in the fifth SLIDERS REBORN chapter, Quinn says he had to quit caffeine because it kept triggering flashbacks of "Strangers and Comrades".
Part of this is because I myself do not understand or have any interest in professional or amateur sports. I have zero interest in soccer, football, hockey, rugby, badminton, tennis, wrestling. I just don't care. My utter disinterest in sports is best summed up by Garfunkel and Oates' hypersardonic three minute comedy song, "Sports Go Sports":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fraSdN-PG8
Garfunkel and Oates wrote:Sports go sports!
This is the most important thing that's ever occurred
The vicarious fulfillment of your dream that got deferred
You had aspirations as a kid but you didn't have the skill
So you watch genetically superior people do the things you never will
Sports go sports
May the hours you spend watching post-match pontificators
Amplify the thrill of being a witness
And better your predictive aptitude
For your squad's future physical fitness
Sports go sports
Watching able-bodied millionaires play with each other
Watching less agile millionaires talk about it on TV
Sports go sports
At the same time, I wrote my 44 year old Quinn as basically being Tom Cruise in the latest MISSION IMPOSSIBLE movies and my dialogue for him indicates that Quinn does work on his fitness and health, and sports must be a part of that in same way, but in a way that I didn't explore at all in my writing.
While I have zero interest in sports, I feel that sports are clearly an important part of the Quinn Mallory character, albeit one that I didn't understand. As conceived and presented by series co-creator Tracy Torme, sports are one of Quinn's obsessions, just as Torme himself loved surfing and football and hockey. Torme used a pan across Quinn's bedroom to establish Quinn shared Torme's interet in athletics.
I don't see the appeal of sports, so I fail to grasp what Quinn likes about them or why they matter to him or whether or not he plays them. But it is clearly an important part of the Quinn-character, and a part that I have edged around, dodged, evaded and downplayed, not because it doesn't matter, but because it's a handicap for me. A handicap so engrained that I honestly never thought about it until recently, when Torme passed away and a number of posters talked about how much Torme loved sports and how Torme gave that same trait to Quinn.
What is the appeal of watching professional sports? A web search tells me that the appeal is enjoying physical peak performance in human bodies, the strategy and tactics of a game, the drama and unpredictability of a competition, the emotional investment in a team, the social aspects of being a spectator.
Is there a scientific angle to why Quinn likes sports? It might be Quinn's fascination with statistical analysis, physics of trajectory and aerodynamics, game theory strategy, and also nutrition and fitness as Quinn clearly cares about working out and being physically active and agile.
I never got into it. I never touched on it. People like my Quinn Mallory a lot and I'm very proud of how well I wrote him. Tom of REWATCH PODCAST remarked that he could always hear Jerry O'Connell's voice in his head when reading my SLIDERS stories, and I think that my ability to pastiche the way Jerry delivers Quinn's dialogue with weight, contemplation, (performative) improvisation, intellectual delight and inspiration would often obscure how some key facets of Quinn were missing.
I frequently drew on "The Guardian" in the scenes where Quinn is mentoring his younger self, and speaks with both gentleness and forcefulness, and that inner confidence and emotional vulnerability matched with scientific knowledge defines Quinn to the point where capturing that makes any discrepancies seem trivial or non-existent. I am at the point where Quinn seems to write himself and I just document what he would have to say. More truthfully: I ask myself what I think Quinn would say or do and then try to find the words that present that, but that presentation can be limited by my own perceptions, interests and limitations. And sports is one of those limitations for me.
My interpretation of Quinn often used performance and pastiche to hide its failings, and I find my aversion to sports to be a very interesting flaw in my work on the character.
I brought in Nigel Mitchell to help me create parallel Earths for SLIDERS REBORN, but I probably should have also found someone to help me write sports references for Quinn. :-)